And then there were 3

On July 21st, 2008 James, my dad and I all went to the movie theater to see The Dark Night. During the movie I was feeling contractions about every 20 minutes or so( I was only 36 weeks along). I couldn't even really pay attention to the movie because I started getting really worried. My doctor told me I was 2 cm dilated and he thought I wouldn't last more than another week or two at my last appointment and that was 5 days prior. I started thinking my water might break in public or something and that really freaked me out. I made it through the movie and we made it home without anything too eventful happening. Later that night I timed my contractions and they were about 9 minutes apart, but not completely consistent. I thought maybe I was just having braxton hicks contractions. The next morning I went to the doctor to have him check me out. I was 3 or 4 cm dilated. Doc told me to go to the hospital if my contractions got to be 4 or 5 minutes apart. He wrote me a letter to start me on maternity leave. I went into work after my appointment to tie up some loose ends since I wasn't planning on going back to work for 12 weeks. I was timing my contractions as they were coming, and they were about 7 minutes apart. I turned in my maternity leave papers and went home. James was home that day because he was off of work. I remember Molly (the dog) was acting really strange around me. She kept following me around and whining a lot. I think she knew something was going on. James was planning on going to play tennis that day. He thought maybe he shouldn't go since I was having contractions and all, but I told him to go. I told him I was fine and that I was just going to relax. So he went and I just relaxed and watched some T.V. I kept timing my contractions. They got to 4 or 5 minutes apart about 20 minutes after James left. I started thinking maybe I should call him and we should head to the hospital. So, I called him and he came right home. I put the packed bags in the car and we headed to the hospital. I was sure that once we got there they would send me home. I was admitted at 3:00 pm. I got my blood drawn to have some lab work done and an IV for fluids. The nurse started putting on all my monitors. She couldn't figure them out, so James's mom (who is a nurse) hooked them up. Not exactly calming when you think you might be having a baby and your nurse has an instruction manual out trying to figure out the monitors! So I was all hooked up, the nurse checked to see how dilated I was. I was 4-5 cm. She called my doctor to let him know that I was there. The nurse said that he wasn't going to break my water so it might be a while before anything happened. A half hour later at 4:00 Dr Baky came into my room and said I could either wait for hard labor to start on its own and be uncomfortable for the next day or two, or he could break my water and get things going now. Well, we were at the hospital and I was ready to meet my baby so I said "now." So he broke my water at 4:07pm and he said he would see me in a couple of hours. My dad left when the doc did to go get something to eat and I called my mom and told her we would be having the baby! She was a little worried that she wouldn't make it on time, but I reassured her that it would be hours before the little guy would make his entrance. Right after I got off the phone with my mom I started having really intense contractions. They kept coming one right after another it seemed. The nurse was having me sign all my consent and whatever other bull crap forms right in between contractions. I didn't even read anything I just scribbled real quick to get it over with. In the midst of all that I started begging for my epidural. I wanted the pain gone and I wanted it gone right then. Well, the nurse informed me that they couldn't give me my epi until my lab results came back. James's mom kept reassuring me that I would get my drugs soon, she was trying to keep me calm =) All of a sudden I felt this really immense pressure and I said "I have to push!" The nurse told me to absolutely not push! More nurses came into my room. My nurse checked me and conformed that I was 10 cm and ready to push. They paged Dr. Baky. The nurses put me on my side to try and make me not push. That did not work. The baby wanted out right then, so they let me push. This part is kind of a blur. I was in so much pain and my contractions were right on top of each other. With every contraction I pushed. At one point one of the nursed tied bed sheets together and gave me one end while she went to the other end of the room and she told me to pull. I was literally playing tug of war while delivering my baby. I got his head out and James's mom Beth yelled "the cord is around his neck!" They told me to give one good push with the next contraction. So I pushed one final time and they yanked him away. I pushed for a total of 20 minutes. From James's point of view things were very scary. I was out of my mind in pain so I didn't understand what was going on. James says that when the baby's head came out it was pail and when his body came out it was lifeless. It was one of the scariest moments of his life. I remember asking over and over why my baby wasn't crying. A ton of people were working on him in a small area and I had no idea what was going on. He finally let out a little cry and I heard them say he was pink. That was a big relief. I thought then that he would be okay. They rushed him into another room and I laid in my bed still in pain, and still had not seen my baby. I wanted to hold him so bad but I couldn't. Dr. Baky showed up about a half hour after I delivered. He finished everything up and he told me that the baby was going to need to go to Akron Children's Hospital or St. Elizabeth's hospital to more treatment. The baby had suffered a collapsed lung and needed special care for a couple days. He gave me some pain medication and he told me he would be back in the early morning to release me so that I could go to the hospital that the baby would be transferred to. Everyone and their brother started showing up at that point. My mom came in the room, she missed everything. Kayla, Missy, Holly, Lauren, Jeff, Maria, Isabella, Dad, Mom, Stephen, Grandma, Dan, another Kayla, and Amie were all there. I love them all, but it was really overwhelming to have everyone there given the circumstances. James and everyone else kept taking turns going from my room to go look through the glass to see the baby. I was really upset inside that everyone got to see my baby except for me. James brought me a picture of him. He was absolutely beautiful. I couldn't believe how much he looked like James. About 2 hours after giving birth to Thomas they brought him to me in an incubator. I felt so helpless. I wanted to hold him so bad. All I could do was put my finger in the incubator, and he grabbed on to it. I put on a smile because there were so many people around me, but I really just wanted to cry. I wanted everyone to leave. It was a really hard moment for me. They took the baby to St. Elizabeth's right away. After they took the baby everyone left and I took a shower. I moved to a Post Partum room and just relaxed. Adam, Sean and Erin (James's friends) came later on to wish congratulations. It was nice to see them after all the chaos earlier. James went to bed soon after that and I roamed the halls. I could hear babies crying in the nursery and I felt really robbed. I knew that I probably wouldn't have a picture perfect delivery, but everything went so wrong. I had that baby inside me for 8 months and he was gone, all alone at another hospital and it was killing me. The next morning Dr. Baky came in and released me just as he had said he would. We got everything together and went to see our baby Thomas. Holding him for the first time was amazing. Everything was right in the universe at that moment. He was in the NICU for one week and he has been perfectly healthy ever since. I really learned a lot from the whole experience. For one, with the next baby I'm getting the drugs before the doc breaks my water! I'm glad that I got to feel what it was like once without the drugs though. I know the pain and I have a whole new respect for my body and what I am capable of. Thomas is the best thing that ever happened to James and I. We both love him with ever ounce of our being and we both feel so blessed that he is a perfect, healthy little boy!

Thomas James- July 22nd, 2008

5lbs 6oz 17 1/2in.

This was the first picture that I looked at to finally see my son's face.
At the NICU.

too precious!

Life before baby

Ever since I was a little girl I loved babies. When I got older and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say I wanted to be a mom. It was my life long dream to get married and have lots of babies and love them with every ounce of my being. When I got into my twenties I still wanted to have children, but I was definitely not ready. As the years went by I wanted to have them much more into the future, not to mention that I wasn't married. Dec 17th of 2007 was an eye opener. I was at work and I kept thinking "maybe I'm pregnant." Even when you think you might be pregnant, you still think "no way." So, I went to the store, got the pee stick and proceeded home. Kristen was home that afternoon watching T.V. I casually went into the bathroom and peed on the stick. It immediately showed "the line." Sheer panic came over me. I yelled for Kristen and showed her and she said " you probably just have cyst or something" ha ha. I convinced myself of that for about an hour before I took 4 more tests. I finally came to terms with the fact I was indeed pregnant. I couldn't believe it. What would I tell my family? Were they going to be mad? What is James going to do? A million thoughts running through my head all day. I went over to James's house later that evening to tell him the news. Before I even spilled the beans he looked at me and said " You are beautiful and I love you and whatever you have to tell me will be OK." I think he kind of knew already. Hearing the actual words "I'm pregnant" still shocked him a little I think. I remember him taking a couple of very deep breaths. We waited to tell everyone until I went to the doctor. That first ultrasound was amazing. I couldn't believe that we were really having a baby. Even though the circumstances weren't exactly right I was really excited about the little miracle that was growing inside me. When I was about 6 months pregnant I thought about making a baby blog. I was going to keep updated progress on my pregnancy. However I thought started at 6 months was a little late. Now that I have a blog I'll share the shortened version. I think I must start with life before wonderful baby Thomas. Before baby things were different. I started my first real job as an administrative assistant at Covelli Enterprises. I had a great house with my best friend Kristen and I was dating a great guy for the last couple of months. Kristen and I lived in our house rent free and all the money we made was disposable income. We went to Ohio State and Browns games every couple of weekends. We had awesome seats. We drank beer and stayed in hotels for the weekend. I went out with my friends on a more than regular basis. I went shopping all the time. James and I went out a lot and we did whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it. I worried only about me and nothing else. I smoked, I drank and I did what I wanted.

The minute I found out that we were having a baby my world changed. I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I quit going out. My nights consisted of a good book or a movie. It was a really difficult transition. People always said that a having a baby would change everything but you don't really know what that means until you actually live it. Don't get me wrong, I was so excited about having a child but at the same time I was grieving the loss of my old life. I was starting a whole new life.

The picture above is from my first ultrasound. I was 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The little circle in the center is the yolk sack. I can't believe this is what are amazing little boy started as! At this stage I was nauseous all the time and I was exhausted. I slept most of the time that I was home.

This was another ultrasound at 7 weeks 5 days. My due date was determined August 16th, 2008. James came to this doctor's appointment with me. It was a party in the room. This was an internal sonogram so I was nakey nake from the waist down. There was my doctor, a nurse, a student, James and me all in the room. The only thing missing was the cake and ice cream!

This was the big day we were waiting for! We found out the sex of the baby on March 7th, 2008. We almost didn't make it to the ultrasound because there was a terrible blizzard happening outside. Everything was closed down and the roads were awful! I was determined to find out that day what we were having. I had waited to long already. We were looking at the screen when the lady said "it's a boy!" James jumped up and yelled "YES!" We were both hoping for a boy so we were both pretty pumped. I started shopping right away

20 weeks

23 Weeks

26 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

30 weeks

32 Weeks

34 weeks

36 Weeks

At my 36 week appointment my doctor told me that I was 2cm dilated and my cervix was paper thin. He also said that he didn't expect me to last another week or two! It was at this point that I started getting really nervous. I had no idea how things would work out and the thought of pushing a baby out of you know where really had me worried.

Happy Thanksgiving!

So today I decided to start a blog. Who knows why. Rarely does anything super exciting happen in my life. I usually think that a blog is a little narcissistic, but I think I will indulge =) Today is Thanksgiving. James, baby Thomas and I are going over to my Uncle Jeff's house for good eats. If anything it will be mildly entertaining. My dad's side of the family is notorious for bickering on holidays. I'm sure it will be nice to see everyone though. This will be the last Thanksgiving my dad will be living in Ohio. That seems so strange to me. He has always been really into Thanksgiving and Christmas so it will be a little weird in the future when he isn't organizing the chaotic gatherings. It definitely won't be the same.

For those who don't know already, James and I are in the process of buying our first house! The process is taking a little longer than we initially thought. We did get a bit of good news yesterday. The VA wants to do an inspection of the house soon because the bank would like to close on the house Dec. 13th. We still haven't been told that the loan went through, but I'm assuming that if they want to do an inspection things are looking good. If we do close on the house Dec. 13th we hope to be living in it by the end of Feb., beginning of March. We are in desperate need of more space. Baby stuff has invaded every crevice of our living quarters now.